Time flies, and winter has arrived in the blink of an eye. It's only four-thirty, but the room is already starting to darken. Perhaps it's because of living on the low second floor and being surrounded by trees and shopping malls.
It's hard to say whether the house I rented this time is good or not. It's near the Luoshanguan subway station, which is convenient for work. However, the house itself is really not great. It's a small one-bedroom apartment, cramped and dilapidated. To store things, I even had to buy a chest of drawers and a bookshelf. My wife often argues when buying shoes and clothes, not because of spending money, but because there's no space. In terms of dilapidation, after moving in for just over three months, the toilet leaks, the mattress sags, the kitchen sink drips, and the kitchen ceiling even collapsed. It's a prefab board that partially detached, and there's no good solution except scraping off loose particles, patching it with cement, and fixing the ceiling. Every time I pass by, I have to be careful not to have someone from upstairs fall into my place.
It's quite miserable to be thirty years old, just married, and living in such a house. The rent also takes up thirty percent of my salary. I wonder when this kind of life will end. What kind of memories will I have of this period in the future?
Marriage was a big event this year. Since childhood, I would imagine myself in the mirror and think about how I would look at a certain point in the future, and being married was one of those scenarios. Now, I can see the reality of being married, and it doesn't seem particularly special, but I still feel that some things have changed.
From planning at the end of last year, finalizing at the beginning of this year, getting married, preparing, having a hometown wedding, my wife returning home, to inviting a few friends and colleagues in Hangzhou, it took almost a whole year, consuming a lot of time and energy. I feel tired, but some memories are still beautiful.
I haven't really thought about the days after marriage. When to buy a house, when to have children, where to buy, where to give birth, when to buy, when to have children, I have no idea. I'm just living day by day for now. I really don't want to go to work now. I've complained enough about the inefficient communication, unfeasible metrics, and lack of interest in the business. These are the things I can't stand the most, but they seem unsolvable in the current company.
Upon calm consideration, inefficient communication might be a common issue in any job. Do I need to find a job where I don't have to communicate much with others and can do things on my own? Will there be such an opportunity? Is it too late to do so?
Unfeasible metrics are a common problem in sales. I might not touch this position in the future. My personality really doesn't fit.
Lack of interest in the business is intriguing. Many things I'm currently doing don't interest me. Working a little extra is already annoying. Getting a work message or call on weekends or holidays is infuriating. I think this proves my attitude towards my current and previous jobs. At noon, I watched two videos on Bilibili. One was Xiao Liang exploring the wilderness in Zibo, introducing small insects and plants, and the other was a blogger buying and restoring an old motorcycle. Doing things I enjoy, even under the scorching sun or cold wind, or staying up all night, I wouldn't feel tired.
I seem to have this kind of interest as well, but there are too many things to consider: income, age, family.